


You didn't think I liked you, did you?

by indecisivemess



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Demisexual Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Demisexuality, Eventual Smut, Insomnia, Masturbation, Mentions of storms, Mutual Pining, Porn With Plot, my dudes idk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:48:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24720034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indecisivemess/pseuds/indecisivemess
Summary: Noticing the poor shape with which Virgil had showed up in front of his person, Logan had simply suggested ways to fight his insomnia. It wasn't like he had meant to be disrespectful, but he had never been good at socializing. And now, after recommending that Anxiety, of all people, should try masturbating to fall asleep, he couldn't help but wonder how that advice would play out.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	You didn't think I liked you, did you?

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, idk. A friend of mine just made some angsty fanart and this was supposed to be a oneshot about said fanart but i just went and had to make an actual plot for it. Im just slightly proud I managed to write some semblance of smut. Ie, the smutty bits are just a treat, not the main focus of the story.

It was a calm morning. Logan just so happened to be in the kitchen brewing some tea when Virgil stumbled his way in, looking like he hadn’t slept for a good 48 hours. Not wanting to disrupt his very likely sour mood, the concerned teacher settled on simply mentioning that to him, trying to block him with his words from getting any closer to the coffee machine.

Either Anxiety didn’t hear him or actively ignored him, before he kept slowly wobbling to it, not even looking his way, and Logan tried to disregard the other’s apathy towards him. It was pointless to let emotions control his actions.

Eventually, mechanical rumbles cut through the soft, familiar noise of the coffee flowing down into Virgil’s favorite mug; the soothing, warm smell of the beverage visibly relaxing the anxious side.

\- Studies show that caffeine has a very negative impact on people with anxiety – the nerd said before he could stop himself, focusing his gaze down on his tea, on the swirls his spoon produced as he mixed it around. – Not only on a physical level, but also-

\- Lo, I really don’t need that right now.

The other’s mouth was sealed right away. Of course. Virgil had sounded more tired than upset with his sudden “info dumping”, and he knew that, in any other day, he would have gladly listened to his facts, so he shouldn’t dwell over it. He really shouldn’t. But the tightness in his chest felt like Anxiety had reached over and squeezed his heart mercilessly in his hand.

For one reason or another, the emo peeked his way, slowly and very obviously, before a defeated sigh pushed through, the words he meant to say dying on his mouth, dissolving in with the big gulp of coffee he took. The steady descent of the first sip flowing through his body helped him relax again, even if he knew that later, the adrenaline in his blood would be a negative thing. He didn’t need Logan’s lecture to know that was the case, just from life experience.

The clicking of short nails echoing against the porcelain of Logic’s tea mug curiously picked Anxiety’s interest, and he looked his way again, noticing how the other seemed deep in thought, staring straight ahead with that attractive, focused expression of his. Virgil couldn’t help but take the smallest step closer, promptly jabbing him on the side with his elbow, and when Logan’s eyes widened slightly, his grip on his drink tightening, the anxious one could only feel the guilt curling in his stomach.

\- W-What you thinking there, teach? – he still tried to say, going along with what he planned to do in the first place.

Logan watched him out of the corner of his eye, masking his confusion, and took a small sip of his beverage to calm his aching heart. The liquid did nothing to improve his mood, but at least it tasted nice.

\- I don’t believe you would be interested in knowing.

And boy, that tone stabbed him all the way to his soul. Look what you did, you useless piece of garbage. You made the only person that cares hate you. Logan wasn’t aware of the commotion his words had caused inside of the other’s head, but he did know the sting of the venom was still clinging onto his throat from what he had said, and he refused to admit he was guilty of his actions.

\- I was... – he started, changing the grip he had on his mug. – I was thinking of ways my knowledge could be helpful to you. I’m sure the source of your exhaustion was the typical insomnia reaction that comes from worrying too much over the choices Thomas has done, is doing or will do, throughout the course of his life. Am I correct?

Virgil stared at him in disbelief, grumbling under his breath. Of course he was right, when was mister glasses without lenses ever wrong about anything. The gross warmth swirling in his stomach better die down quick, because the emo had no intentions of acknowledging that it was kinda cute that he was worried for him.

He didn’t look in his direction, but he could tell that Logan was smirking in triumph either way.

\- I’ll assume your silence as a confirmation I must keep going – the nerd took a happy gulp out of his cooling tea, and Virgil copied him without even realizing. – There’s several approaches I could present to you, but I’ll summarize them to only the most effective ones.

\- Yes, thank you for your consideration – Anxiety admitted sarcastically, but Logan couldn’t pick up on the underlying mockery of his tone, feeling genuinely reassured to keep going.

\- As I was saying – Logic adjusted his glasses quickly, the tiniest of smiles tugging at the corners of his lips. – The most productive and less time consuming ways to fight insomnia would be: listening to podcasts or audiobooks that you enjoy; setting your environment to a specific setting, for example, with soothing sounds of falling rain; engaging in masturbating-

The sound of choking quickly stopped him from going any further, and when he turned around to face the only other person in the room, Virgil was walking up to the nearest counter, resting his mug there as he hit himself on the chest.

\- I advise you not to do that. You should raise your head instead-

\- Fucking hell, Logan – he said between coughs, trying to do as he explained anyways, staring at the ceiling as he tried to control his own breathing – Don’t offer- help after trying to k-kill someone.

Logic’s brows knitted in confusion.

\- I wasn’t trying to do such thing.

The flustered look Anxiety expressed, plus the slight blush visible through his thick layer of white foundation seemed to prove him otherwise, but he was actively ignoring how the sight made his heart speed up. The sudden change of his blood pressure definitely wasn’t healthy.

\- Yea, sure, let’s go with that – Virgil leaned his head forward again and ruffled his purple strands, and the angle made him look even more adorable than before. – Why would you, uh, even mention that last one?

Logan took a moment to understand what he was asking.

\- From all the options, it is one of the most recommended. It doesn’t take much effort, and the average person takes about-

\- Nope – suddenly there where hands waving in front of his face. – Don’t need the statistics, didn’t know why I asked.

For just a second, everything was quiet. Virgil could see that the teacher had gone back to enjoying his tea, looking like he was close to finishing it, so he quickly downed the rest of his coffee to not seem like a left out loser, only noticing the smirk drawn on Logic’s lips when the porcelain disappeared from out in front of them. He, couldn’t freaking believe this, the little fucker-

\- You were messing with me, weren’t you?

\- Perhaps – the smirk spread more evenly across his face, and if that didn’t set Virgil’s skin on fire, he didn’t know what would. – But I was basing my mockery on true facts. You should attempted it at least once.

He only got a sigh as a reply, but he could see from his expressions that Anxiety had taken his teasing in a lighthearted way. Although, as much as he’d enjoy just standing alone in the kitchen with the other side, he had business to attend to, and shortly after wishing him a rest of a good day, Logan returned to his “nerd cave”, as Roman typically put it, easily letting his mind travel and get lost in the organizing folders and color coded diaries of ideas Thomas would like to someday put into practice.

Just a couple of doors away from there, however, Virgil was having less than a blast. His head ached, that familiar pressure on his temples from the lack of sleep, and his eyes were dry from not having rest, but he couldn’t help it. There was so much happening in Thomas’s life- he couldn’t just, ignore everything and take a break. That’s not how anxiety works.

He sighed as he flopped on his bed, face down, and lazily rolled over onto his back only when he could feel the lack of oxygen getting to him. This was fucking pointless. Logan was right. If he didn’t rest, he’d end up slipping and making the wrong decision, and then he’d lose even _more_ resting hours regretting his bad advice. He needed to sleep, _right **fucking** now._

Slowly rubbing his forehead, like that would help in any way in making him remember what Logan had said earlier, he settled on trying the rain thing the nerd had suggested, knowing hearing someone’s voice right now, or keeping up with a whole story from scratch would just make his headache worst. Virgil quickly found a website, something he couldn’t recall the url for, that promised unstopping, real time storming noises, and it had a cool layout too, so he just gave it a go.

His head fell like a heavy rock on his pillow, and he did his best to make himself comfortable, but his bed was just a bit too stiff against his back, his sheets a bit too cold. He could try to use his will to change the inconveniences, but his sleep hazed mind could only convince him that he’d probably pass out sooner or later, so he shouldn’t waste the energy that he still somehow had.

The sounds started off okay. It wasn’t the best thing Virgil had ever heard, but his brain processed them as real rain, so that was something. The thoughts didn’t quiet down right away, which wasn’t new, but ever so slowly, even the voices stopped to listen to the rain, and Anxiety could feel the tension vanishing, his eyes closing to appreciate the soothing sounds of nature. A content sigh escaped him, as he turned into a melting pile of bones against his mattress, before a loud, booming thunder blasted through his soul, shattering his relaxation and shooting his body to sit up on the bed, eyes wide and breathing exacerbated. 

His gaze landed on the phone that sat right by his pillow in the middle of his confusion, the knots of stress making all of his joints stiff, and his fast fingers somehow managed to exit him out of that site, his background plainly greeting him. His heartbeat climbed up to his ears, the pulsations pushing against his veins and making his headache return with a vengeance, and Virgil doesn’t know how he managed to not throw his phone into the nearest wall in a fit of rage.

Defeatedly flopping back on the bed, the emo grumpily ignored the still lit up screen, letting the regret sit in his chest as his heart progressively calmed down. It’s not like he hated thunder, in fact, he loved the trill of the flashing lights tearing through the sky, but the noises hurt his ears, and the storms near Thomas’s house weren’t... the most pleasant, so you could say he had mixed feelings about that topic.

Now more tired than before, having quickly spiked and just as quickly calmed down, he barely had the mental power to think. The tears were already forming at the corners of his eyes from frustration, and they didn’t spill from cheer willpower alone. He wasn’t such a baby to cry over such a stupid reason. Smudging his eyeshadow all over his face as he crudely rubbed his eyes, he stared at the ceiling for a moment as he tried to think. The only thing left was...

The electrifying excitement rushing through his veins brought some color to his cheeks, and Virgil actually took a moment to check around the room to see if no one was around. It would be ridiculous that one of the others could just, be there, but there was no consequences in checking so...

One of his hands came up to play with the strings of his hoodie, a nervous breath pushing past his lips. Thomas was head deep into editing, to which he rarely called him out for. It wasn’t anywhere near time to any meal or snack or important event that Pat might have come up with, so that couldn’t stop him either. He let his eyes travel down to his pants, to the zipper and the button keeping them closed. There was nothing stopping him from just, slipping his hand inside and getting it done with, besides his own insecurities.

He admitted he was a failure of a man, not having enough courage to tease himself with porn, or simply possessing the social skills to go for a one night stand for that matter. Not that those had anything to do with masculinity, but they definitely painted him as an antisocial jackass, and that wasn’t any better.

His hands covered his face in frustration, the thick wall that usually stopped him from even considering having dirty thoughts cracking just a splinter. It was normal to want to help himself, right? It was not like he believed in God like Thomas did, but if She was watching him from, somewhere, he’d put on a show for Her. Well, at least he tried to mentally joke around like that as he unzipped his hoodie all the way down to the end, letting it fall open as his gaze travelled to the ceiling again.

Maybe imagining someone would help. The very rare times he had tried to do this hadn’t been the best experiences, the awkward touches leaving him more sexually constipated than before, so lower than that he couldn’t go.

Taking a breath in, he simply said fuck it and slipped his hands inside of his shirt, hissing quietly as the cold touched his skin. Something stirred on his lower stomach, something that didn’t feel like just excitement, and his face burned at the realization, forcing his head to stay down on the pillow and his eyes closed as the new sensation fueled his touches, his hands curiously exploring around his torso. He wasn’t in a hurry, his fingertips feeling every smooth curve of his body as he slowly dragged his hands up, and the exploration made him slightly giddy, the need to laugh awkwardly scratching at the end of his throat.

Anxiety somehow managed to grab onto some focus, impatience moving his limbs now, and he quickly decided maybe getting rid of some layers would be helpful, rapidly ditching his jacket, his shirt promptly following suit, slipping over his head. Sitting on his bed with just his pants felt slightly awkward, so he shrugged it off, moving his hands down to get rid of that too, and before he knew it, he was laying back down, his boxers the only barrier between him and the point of no return.

Frowning, he realized that he hadn’t been imagining anyone throughout all of this and took a moment to drift his focus to that, his left hand lazily petting up and down his chest. He didn’t trust that many people, and from that handful, simply imagining them on the bed with him made him gag. Not being able to stop his nerves from pouring in, he still went through the options, discarding name after name, and the pressure of fulfilling his own goal was starting to get to him when his brain suggested Logan out of nowhere.

His hand stilled for a second, and Virgil found himself actually considering it, noticing with surprise that he didn’t find that option as gross as the others. I mean, the nerd wasn’t unattractive, by any means, and he must know how this whole thing worked if he had recommended it.

His hips shifted around by themselves, and he found himself surprised by feeling something brushing up against the soft fabric of his boxers. His heart pounded against his ribcage.

Leaving the moral guilt for later, he forcefully closed his eyes, imagining Logan there with him, imagining his big hands there over his. His nerve ends burned with electricity, a small gasp escaping him as he clearly pictured the look the other would give him as he teasingly cupped him through his last piece of clothing, a firm pressure against his bulge.

Virgil hesitantly thrusted up into his own hand, leaning his head to the side as the noises built up on his throat. That, actually felt kinda good... fuck. He rolled his hips one more time, more sure of himself, and he could barely feel the tips of his fingers as he suppressed a sharp gasp, his hand hurriedly moving inside of his boxers as he got impatient once again.

His free hand roamed up and down his chest, the tingly sensation from the touch trailing behind it, igniting his skin on fire. He held himself, unconsciously letting his body do most of the work, and used his pillow to muffle his noises, genuine groans spilling from his lips as his imagination provided him with images of Logan towering over him, guiding his hands, teaching him how to feel good. His deep, hushed voice would tickle his ears as he leaned closer, explaining to him just how well he was doing, and his hand would press against all of the right spots, successfully erasing any train of thought that Virgil could possibly have, his mind only focusing on the pleasure.

He didn’t take too long to cum, biting into his pillow as the climax wrecked through him. Even to his own ears he had sounded pitiful, the pleading moan echoing inside his own mind as his hips still thrusted forward, spilling his seed all over his hand. The fake Logan kissed up and down his temple, mumbling nerdy praises by his ear, but the fantasy was broken when he opened his eyes, and Virgil astonishingly realized that it had been kinda difficult to do so, the aftermath of his arousal rapidly melting away and leaving behind only exhaustion.

The side in question only had the brain power to snap his fingers, willing away the mess and covering himself before he fell into a deep slumber, distant thoughts of Logan comforting him as he drifted off to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this will have a second chapter eventually, cuz that was supposed to be the fic in the first place, but my ace ass doesnt know how to navigate around this in a way thats supposed to be hot and actually entertaining, so you guys tell me how this is going so far.


End file.
